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Things Said In American Courts Noter : -----

#1 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   Desaxee Icône

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Icône du message  Posté 06 octobre 2005 - 12:10

> > > things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
> > > published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while


> > > these exchanges were actually taking place.
> > >
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
> > > WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
> > > ______________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
> > > WITNESS: July 18th.
> > > ATTORNEY: What year?
> > > WITNESS: Every year.
> > > _____________________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the
> > > moment of the impact?
> > > WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
> > > ______________________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect
> > > your memory at all?
> > > WITNESS: Yes.
> > > ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your
> > > memory?
> > > WITNESS: I forget.
> > > ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of
> > > something you forgot?
> > > _____________________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living
> > > with you?
> > > WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't
> > > remember which.
> > > ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
> > > WITNESS: Forty-five years.
> > > _____________________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband
> > > said to you that morning?
> > > WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
> > > ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
> > > WITNESS: My name is Susan.
> > > ______________________________________
> > > ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever
> > > been involved in voodoo?
> > > WITNESS: We both do.
> > > ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
> > > WITNESS: We do.
> > > ATTORNEY: You do?
> > > WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
> > > ______________________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a
> > > person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know
> > > about it until the next morning?
> > > WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
> > > ___________________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old,
> > > how old is he?
> > > WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one...
> > > ________________________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was
> > > taken?
> > > WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
> > > ______________________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was
> > > August 8th?
> > > WITNESS: Yes.
> > > ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
> > > WITNESS: Uh....
> > > ______________________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
> > > WITNESS: Yes.
> > > ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
> > > WITNESS: None.
> > > ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
> > > ______________________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
> > > WITNESS: By death.
> > > ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
> > > ______________________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
> > > WITNESS: He was about medium height and had
> > > a beard.
> > > ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
> > > ______________________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning
> > > pursuant to a deposition notice which
> > > I sent to your attorney?
> > > WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
> > > ______________________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies
> > > have you performed on dead people?
> > > WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on
> > > dead people. ______________________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
> > > What school did you go to?
> > > WITNESS: Oral.
> > > ______________________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you
> > > examined the body?
> > > WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
> > > ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
> > > WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering
> > > why I was doing an autopsy on him!
> > > ______________________________________
> > > ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
> > > WITNESS: Huh?
> > > ______________________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the
> > > autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
> > > WITNESS: No.
> > > ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
> > > WITNESS: No.
> > > ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
> > > WITNESS: No.
> > > ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient
> > > was alive when you began the autopsy?
> > > WITNESS: No.
> > > ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> > > WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my
> > > desk in a jar.
> > > ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been
> > > alive, nevertheless?
> > > WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
> > > alive and practicing law. _
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#2 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   Wallen Icône

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Posté 06 octobre 2005 - 01:57

hahahaha
thats awesome desaxee,
I was about to wet myself.
These guys r paid thousands and they are complete morons !!!!!!!!

The last one !
The witness is a killer loool:(( :(( =D> =D>

and


Citation

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a
> > > person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know
> > > about it until the next morning?
> > > WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?


ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was
> > > taken?
> > > WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was
> > > August 8th?
> > > WITNESS: Yes.
> > > ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
> > > WITNESS: Uh....


ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
> > > WITNESS: By death.
> > > ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?


ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies
> > > have you performed on dead people?
> > > WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on
> > > dead people. ______________________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
> > > What school did you go to?
> > > WITNESS: Oral.
> > > ______________________________________
> > >
> > > ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you
> > > examined the body?
> > > WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
> > > ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
> > > WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering
> > > why I was doing an autopsy on him!
> > > ______________________________________
> > > ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
> > > WITNESS: Huh?
> > > ____________________________
=D> =D>

thx :lol: :lol: :lol:
''Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth"
Will Rogers


Love makes the world go round
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#3 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   Balou Icône

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Posté 06 octobre 2005 - 08:22

Citation

These guys r paid thousands and they are complete morons !!!!!!!!


that s their job wallen, to embarass the witness and make them less credible as much as they can. isnt it nice?..

U could be one honey for doing that to ayana .lool
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#4 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   Wallen Icône

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Posté 06 octobre 2005 - 01:48

Their job is acting ridiculous?
those hilarious mistakes were made mainly by attorneys and I can guarantee u they were not made on purpose, ;)
Read carefully!
They were the ones embarassed, not the other way around :lol:
A part ca, le jeun ca te deconcentre mahaa? :P
''Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth"
Will Rogers


Love makes the world go round
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#5 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   mimi2005 Icône

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Posté 06 octobre 2005 - 03:52

You guys are crazy surtout Wallen c est le heros du forum I like you man.
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#6 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   Wallen Icône

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Icône du message  Posté 06 octobre 2005 - 11:16

Voir le messagemimi2005, le Thursday 6 October 2005, 14:52, dit :

You guys are crazy surtout Wallen c est le heros du forum I like you man.




:blink:

Merci MAN!
Toi aussi t'es un bon gars!
Allez je te laisse,
je vais faire un peu de muscu devant ma playstation,
après je fume un petard et je vais aider mon pote Gégé deménager,
avec mes gros muscles de heros ;)
''Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth"
Will Rogers


Love makes the world go round
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#7 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   le correcteur Icône

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Posté 08 octobre 2005 - 05:28

ahahahahah thats cool desaxee here is joke voted the best god joke ever

once i saw this guy on a bridge about to jump.I said 'don't do it' he said, 'nobody loves me.'
i said 'god loves . do u believe in god? he said 'yes' . i said 'r u a christian or a jew ? ' he said ' a christian' i said 'me too! protestant or catholic?' he said ' protestant'. i said what franchise ?' he said baptist.' i said me 2
northen baptist or southern baptist ?' he said 'northern baptist' i said me 2
'northern conservative baptist or northern liberal baptist ? he said ' northern conservative baptist'
i said me 2! 'northern conservative conservative baptist great lake regions, or norther conservative baptist eastern region? he said 'northern conservative baptist great lakes region.' i said me 2
'northern conservative baptist great lakes region council of 1879, or northern conservative great lakes region of 1912?' he said ' norhern conservative baptist great lakes region council of 1912'
i said 'die, heretic!' and i pushed him over'
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