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Stress Relievers jokes Noter : -----

#1 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   djib_extremiste Icône

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Posté 20 juin 2005 - 09:14

Stress Reliever # 1

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,

"What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

____________________________________________________

Stress Reliever # 2

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or
troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren' t married yet.

__________________________________________________

Stress Reliever # 3

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up
my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done t he right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

_____________________________________________________

Stress Reliever # 4

Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the
ning"

Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."

Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!"

Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."

_____________________________________________________

Stress Reliever # 5

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father
hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT
YOU A FORTUNE"

_____________________________________________________

Stress Reliever # 6

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

___________________________________________________

Stress Reliever # 7 "How was your blind date?" a college st udent asked

her roommate.

"Terrible!" the roommate answered.

"He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."

Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"

"He was the original owner."

___________________________________________________

Stress Reliever # 9

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..

"My father grows beans," said one student.

"My father cooks beans," said another.

Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."

___________________________________________________

Stress Reliever # 10

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a
millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married
her?"

Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
------------------------------------------------
DTP
Disturbin Tha Peace....
"There's gonna be some stuff u gonna see that's gonna make it hard To smile in the future, but through whatever you see, Through all the rain and all the pain, you gotta keep your sense of humor. you gotta be able to smile through all this bullsh*t"

Tupac Shakur
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#2 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   nova mai Icône

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Posté 20 juin 2005 - 02:01

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

merci djib extremist, g bien rigolé!
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#3 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   Lily Icône

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Posté 20 juin 2005 - 11:36

Senor!

Now we know how to avoid stress and where is coming from.. :P ;)

Laughter is the best medicine ;) B) :lol:
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#4 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   Somali_psycho Icône

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Posté 08 juillet 2005 - 04:39

Laughter is the best medecin in the abscence of Yes yes yes lily

Moi c psycho, Taureau ascendant cochon selon lastrologie berbere LOL
"Try and be a sheet of paper with nothing on it. Be a spot of ground where nothing is growing, where something might be planted, a seed, possibly from the Absolute." J. Rumi
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#5 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   charisme Icône

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Posté 09 juillet 2005 - 10:14

djib_extremiste, le Monday 20 June 2005, 6:14, dit :

Stress Reliever # 1

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,

"What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

____________________________________________________

Stress Reliever # 2

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or
troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren' t married yet.

__________________________________________________

Stress Reliever # 3

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up
my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done t he right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

_____________________________________________________

Stress Reliever # 4

Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the
ning"

Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."

Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!"

Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."

_____________________________________________________

Stress Reliever # 5

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father
hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT
YOU A FORTUNE"

_____________________________________________________

Stress Reliever # 6

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

___________________________________________________

Stress Reliever # 7 "How was your blind date?" a college st udent asked

her roommate.

"Terrible!" the roommate answered.

"He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."

Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"

"He was the original owner."

___________________________________________________

Stress Reliever # 9

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..

"My father grows beans," said one student.

"My father cooks beans," said another.

Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."

___________________________________________________

Stress Reliever # 10

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a
millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married
her?"

Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
------------------------------------------------
DTP
Disturbin Tha Peace....
Voir le message



:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
That's funny ! =D> =D>
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#6 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   charisme Icône

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Posté 09 juillet 2005 - 10:16

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife
stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
"Dear Lord:

I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at
home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to
switch with mine for a day. Amen.



God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning,
sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for
his mate, awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, fed them
breakfast, packed their lunches,



Drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it
to the cleaners, stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery
shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and
balanced the cheque book.



He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already
1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust,
and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the
kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.



Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their
homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the
ironing.



At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad,
breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.



After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded
laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was
exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed
where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through
without complaint.



The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said,
Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my
wife's
being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."




The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have
learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the
way
they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got
pregnant last night."
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#7 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   Lily Icône

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Posté 11 juillet 2005 - 03:13

Citation

Laughter is the best medecin in the abscence of Yes yes yes lily
. Every time the laughter is the best of the best medecine

Citation

Moi c psycho, Taureau ascendant cochon selon lastrologie berbere LOL

U can also burn some calories Psycho :P . A great exercise for ur stomach



Charisme that was funny. :lol: Men should learn a lesson. They think that women do nothing and that looking after the kids and the house is a easy tasks.
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