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Humour Girls -- Please have a sense of humor! Noter : -----

#1 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   coolwannabe Icône

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Posté 24 septembre 2008 - 12:09

Writen by a Guy:



I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I will not be having sex tonight either..
I like u very much but i like myself more.
Please Honey dont Money me.
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#2 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   E-{-_-}-Face Icône

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Posté 24 septembre 2008 - 03:17

Voir le messagecoolwannabe, le Wednesday 24 September 2008, 6:01, dit :

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'


hum.. very dreadful...very sad how chicks use their "emotional needs" as blackmail... :angry: :angry: enuff to make an honest caring man go beezeerk and wild out...for real...watch out gurls ...take that road and reap the wrath of gettin kicked to the curb... Men dont play dat..kkkkk

Voir le messagecoolwannabe, le Wednesday 24 September 2008, 6:01, dit :

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'


kkkkkkkkkkkkk....Karma is a b.i.t.c.h. ain't it....hard to swallow the bitterness of being flipped by ur own game ..huh..kkkkkkkk


Voir le messagecoolwannabe, le Wednesday 24 September 2008, 6:01, dit :

Apparently I will not be having sex tonight either..


She definitely wont either...and it seems she didn't mature up from the whole thing..kkkkk

shame shame...who's next

Mic's free
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#3 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   le-patrouilleur Icône

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Posté 24 septembre 2008 - 04:54

Voir le messagecoolwannabe, le Wednesday 24 September 2008, 12:01, dit :

she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'


:D :lol: :(( :lol: :(( :lol: :lol:

Voir le messagecoolwannabe, le Wednesday 24 September 2008, 12:01, dit :

Apparently I will not be having sex tonight either..


U will be lucky if u end up in the same room
A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it.
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#4 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   Esco Icône

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Posté 25 septembre 2008 - 09:16

1 partout
[b][i]Yesterday is history
Tomorow is a mystery
Today is a gift that's why they called it PRESENT[/i][/b]

Inakeyn inakeyn Amina'
Jsuis pas un chômeur Amina'
Jsuis un soldat bientôt capitaine Amina'
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#5 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   coolwannabe Icône

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Posté 25 septembre 2008 - 11:17

When will women understand our 3 basic needs?
Food
Sex
Silence
I like u very much but i like myself more.
Please Honey dont Money me.
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#6 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   E-{-_-}-Face Icône

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Posté 25 septembre 2008 - 01:55

Voir le messagecoolwannabe, le Thursday 25 September 2008, 5:09, dit :

When will women understand our 3 basic needs?
Food
Sex
Silence


http://www.youtube.c...feature=related

"the more u r with someone the more eatin and f#ing to do"...kkkkkkk

http://www.youtube.c...feature=related


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#7 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   Fluid Icône

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Posté 25 septembre 2008 - 05:18

correction: "the more u r with someone the more eatin and LESS f#ing to do"...

I love his motto: Is all about her!!!

by Chris Rock supporter!
"Remember others in their quests to fulfill their own ambitions" Mona Minkara
"Until the power of love can overcome the love of power the world will not know peace" Unknown From a washroom wall lol
"Leaders must invoke an alchemy of great vision.” Henry Kissinger
"Be careful, Anais, abnormal pleasures kill the taste for normal ones." Eduardo
"From a sensitive woman's heart springs the hapiness of mankind." Khalil Gibran
"Tout est stereospecifique dans la vie." Dr Mezl
"Somebody is gonna get a hurt real bad." Russel Peters
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#8 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   E-{-_-}-Face Icône

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Posté 25 septembre 2008 - 08:29

Voir le messageFluid, le Thursday 25 September 2008, 11:10, dit :

I love his motto: Is all about her!!!

by Chris Rock supporter!


I see u gloating and would bet my Xbox 360 that u were "almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement" when u heard Chris sayin that ...:lol: .."it's all about her"...."IT'S ALL ABOUT HERR !!! FELLAS"...right?.. :lol: kkkkkk

Thks for the correction...deep inside i was hopin u wouldn't notice that lil detail...kkkk ;)

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#9 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   E-{-_-}-Face Icône

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Posté 26 septembre 2008 - 02:04

...still waitin for the rebuttal...if any..kkk

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#10 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   Fluid Icône

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Posté 26 septembre 2008 - 06:29

Voir le messageE-{-_-}-Face, le Thursday 25 September 2008, 14:21, dit :

I see u gloating and would bet my Xbox 360 that u were "almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement" when u heard Chris sayin that ...:lol: .."it's all about her"...."IT'S ALL ABOUT HERR !!! FELLAS"...right?.. :lol: kkkkkk

Thks for the correction...deep inside i was hopin u wouldn't notice that lil detail...kkkk ;)

Mic's free


Obviously, I know it's all about me since I came on earth. Somehow, you guys didn't realise it until some hard slap on the face. He just reminded you about your responsiblity that you failed to notice everytime you are with a woman. It's true we demand alot but it's for your best interest my brother. Just to let you know, the satisfaction I get to kick someone behind on my Xbox 360 and my sexual desire don't match. Complete different level.... Get with the program my darling.
"Remember others in their quests to fulfill their own ambitions" Mona Minkara
"Until the power of love can overcome the love of power the world will not know peace" Unknown From a washroom wall lol
"Leaders must invoke an alchemy of great vision.” Henry Kissinger
"Be careful, Anais, abnormal pleasures kill the taste for normal ones." Eduardo
"From a sensitive woman's heart springs the hapiness of mankind." Khalil Gibran
"Tout est stereospecifique dans la vie." Dr Mezl
"Somebody is gonna get a hurt real bad." Russel Peters
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#11 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   E-{-_-}-Face Icône

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Posté 27 septembre 2008 - 03:36

Voir le messageFluid, le Friday 26 September 2008, 12:21, dit :

Obviously, I know it's all about me since I came on earth. Somehow, you guys didn't realise it until some hard slap on the face. He just reminded you about your responsiblity that you failed to notice everytime you are with a woman. It's true we demand alot but it's for your best interest my brother. Just to let you know, the satisfaction I get to kick someone behind on my Xbox 360 and my sexual desire don't match. Complete different level.... Get with the program my darling.

...my darling huh?....since u have said that word..my Mp box has been flooded with hate messages....kkkkkkkkkkkkkk i think i got more enemies than salman rushdi.....dayumm...didn't know u were soo "convoitee" kkkkkkkk

Mic's free
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#12 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   Fluid Icône

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Posté 28 septembre 2008 - 07:20

Now, I got something for you that will equilibrate the jokes.


"Remember others in their quests to fulfill their own ambitions" Mona Minkara
"Until the power of love can overcome the love of power the world will not know peace" Unknown From a washroom wall lol
"Leaders must invoke an alchemy of great vision.” Henry Kissinger
"Be careful, Anais, abnormal pleasures kill the taste for normal ones." Eduardo
"From a sensitive woman's heart springs the hapiness of mankind." Khalil Gibran
"Tout est stereospecifique dans la vie." Dr Mezl
"Somebody is gonna get a hurt real bad." Russel Peters
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#13 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   hassan med Icône

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Et ouiiiiiiii Djibouti Ville

Posté 28 septembre 2008 - 07:26

Humour

Pour faire plaisir aux femmes Djibnautes

1-Un homme lit le journal et dit à son épouse : - Savais-tu que les femmes utilisent 30.000 mots par jour et les hommes 15.000 ?
La femme lui répond : 'C'est facile à expliquer, il faut toujours répéter deux fois la même chose aux hommes.'
L'homme se retourne vers elle et dit : 'Quoi?'

2-Un homme dit à son épouse : - Comment le bon Dieu a-t-il pu te faire aussi belle et aussi stupide à la fois ?
Celle-ci répond : - Laisse-moi t'expliquer : Dieu m'a faite belle pour t'attirer. Et il m'a faite assez stupide pour que je te garde.

3-Suite à une dispute, un couple ne se parle plus. Aucun ne veut rompre le silence. Soudain le mari se souvient qu'il doit se lever à 5:00 du matin pour prendre l'avion en vue d'un rendez-vous d'affaires important. Il prend un bout de papier et écrit : - Réveille-moi à 5 heures, je dois prendre l'avion.
Il le place bien en vue. Le lendemain, il se réveille à 9h; furieux, il se lève et aperçoit un papier sur sa table de nuit sur lequel il lit : 'Il est 5h, lève-toi.'
[size="6"]
Je reviendrai un des jours dans le forum si Dieu le voudra . Je m'absenterai pour un moment et je vous salue tous et toutes . Gardez vos peches. Merci. www.hassan-med.over-blog.com
[/size]
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#14 L'utilisateur est hors-ligne   E-{-_-}-Face Icône

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Posté 29 septembre 2008 - 03:27

Voir le messageFluid, le Sunday 28 September 2008, 13:12, dit :

Now, I got something for you that will equilibrate the jokes.


In other words, I should get Tivo?..kkkkk :lol:

Mic's free
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